Not So Subtle Racism.

Introductions.

"Hi"

"Hi, I'm 'Generic White Name Here'"

"I'm Alia, nice to meet you."

"H-al-yeah?"

"No, but its ok "

"No please, I want to get it right."

"Alia, its an accent thing, it's honestly ok."

"Gh-aly-yuh"

"Yeah good job, wow thanks for not butchering my name and forcing me to stand here while other people join in curiosity."

If you can relate to this scenario, you probably aren't white or were given an easy white name by your parents. This exact scene has been my life for the past three years, and I cannot explain how predictable it has become. This isn't even the most taxing portion of the conversation.

Before I get into that portion, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Alia Aleali. I grew up in Dubai, but I am a Canadian citizen, proudly from Mississauga, and I identify as an Arab. This comes with some qualms, as everything in this life does. I was born in Sharjah, UAE, and then I moved to Mississauga as a toddler and then we moved back to Dubai, now I live in Vancouver. My parents are from Bahrain and Iran, but my grandmothers were from Iraq. So if you know anything about the recent history of the Arab/Persian Gulf, you'll understand that when I say that even my blood likes to fight with itself. It took me a while to understand my own background and ethnicity so as a child the easiest answer was "I'm Canadian." Was it the easiest answer? HA HA jokes on me; I was made fun of for calling myself Canadian and still am to this day. For those living in the Middle East, calling myself Canadian was an insult to them because I was neglecting my heritage and putting on a persona. For those in Canada, labeling was and still is, everything. They wanted to categorize me so that they didn't have to create a new identity for me.

Here comes the next question.

"Where are you from?"

"Oh, I lived in Dubai."

"But are you from there? Like you have a Dubai passport?"

"No, I'm Canadian."

"But where are your parents from?"

"It's complicated haha."

"We have time."

"Alright I'm from Iran and Bahrain"

"Ba-ran? What's that?"

"Its close to Saudi Arabia."

"Oh, so you must feel so free here hahaha."

Yes, I feel free enough to write this essay and expose all of the ignorance that I still experience today. While I don't feel that the questions "where are you from?" is in itself racist or aggressive, but when asked "where are you really from?", I get more than a little annoyed. Not once or twice has this happened, the number has been lost on me.

Some critics of racism and the very discussion of the scenario presented above. Conor Friedersdorf outlines the various experiences of students from the USA who were plagued by the same scenario, each with their own opinions and thoughts on how to answer the question. Some saw it as a way to educate and help "white folk" understand what it means to be ethnically diverse but also an American. Some saw it as a nuisance, much like myself. As a form of micro-aggression, this line of questioning is the reason I get anxious about meeting new people or going into an interview. Where am I from? What people really mean is, what am I?

What am I?

I'm still trying to discern that for myself.

I'm a 20-year-old girl. Girl because my mother always taught me that to be a woman, there were conditions. My age is important here because no one can ever pinpoint how old I am and as such, it's a surprise. What else? I'm a student at the University of British Columbia. I'm a Canadian citizen. I'm Arab, Persian, and Muslim. These are all the labels I can think of that place me into a category that helps people label me.

Does this clarify what I am? Not in the slightest.

I have no idea where I fit in and I don't mind it. I enjoy meeting people and I enjoy finding similarities with other cultures. I'm also not afraid to admit that I, too, have my own biases and can be unintentionally racist sometimes. There are parts of the world that I have no clue about and I can be a little ignorant about them myself, so I'm human. The difference is, I don't pester people about their family history when I ask them a question.

Canada prides itself on this idea of multiculturalism and being a nation that celebrates various cultures and histories, yet there is so much still missing about this image. We celebrate East Asian nations that were previously discriminated against under the Chinese Exclusion Act and the Vancouver Riots in the 1920s, not a century ago. Canada does have a high rate of immigration and accepts a variety of nationalities, but when you have a nickname for UBC as "University of a Billion Chinese," there is clearly not as much diversity as we expect. We make jokes and we let the little things slide because it's not as bad as it used to be. Racism isn't as bad anymore.

How can we say that we're diverse and happy about it when that's all we talk about? Diversity isn't something to brag about. It should be intrinsic and shoving percentages in your pamphlets and websites doesn't make it a fact.

I struggle day in and out with who I am and how I identify myself, yet others constantly feel the need to put a label across my head so that they are comfortable. Heretofore, categories of people have been used to segregate and create a hierarchy based on race, class, and language. Each of those categories was entirely a social construction derived from a system of power that is not only outdated but ineffective, so why do we still do this? Why do I still do this? Is subtle racism ok?

Subtle or covert racism is indirect and ambiguous. Its buried under fields of euphemisms and innuendos and it might take you days to characterize it as racist. Just as I'm sure some of you didn't notice it in the dialogue above, which is not to say that you are racist, its just meant to show you all that racism isn't always going to be clear and in your face. I don't need to be called a terrorist for someone to be racist towards me.

When someone asks me how I feel living in Canada, they ask me how I like freedom and liberty. I tell them that I feel no different here than I do where I grew up. The reaction is always the same, perplexion and continued frustration with even the semblance of insinuating that the Middle East is just as liberal as North America.

Now I'm not deluded, I should be clear that I do understand the level of rights and opportunities available to the general populace is significantly different in certain areas of the Middle East. While we can always do better, it is offensive and overly presumptuous to ignore the opportunities I was given growing up in Dubai. I am privileged and I could not be more grateful for the circumstances in which I was raised. My parents were progressive and always encouraged me to do what I wanted and to be honest with them about my life. The same can't be said for other girls in the Middle East and North America.

My ethnicity has nothing to do with how my parents raised me. My place of living had nothing to do with how strict my social life was. While there were certain expectations of my gender, my RACE was irrelevant. My RACE did not determine my identity and nor does it now.

So, the next time you ask me how free I feel in Canada, remember that I'm from here. I'm also Arab and Persian and Muslim. I don't have a distinct label for myself so you shouldn't feel the need to label me either.