I'm not ESL, but it shouldn't matter

So before I go on this rant that will surely be critiqued as me being overly sensitive, please bear with me. I understand that not everything is racist and not every question is laced with the intention of being malicious or having an air of superiority.

"How do you speak English so well?"

Some may say, most if I'm being honest, that this question is harmless and that any dissection is unwarranted and unnecessary. And yet, here I am, dissecting it for you all. Why does this question irk me?

1. I'm Canadian. (Regardless of my ethnic background and my cultural identity, I am a Canadian citizen, and I identify as such.)

2. My first language is English. (My mother tongue may be Arabic or Farsi, but guess what? English is the only language I am truly fluent in.)

3. Why in the world does it matter how or why I speak the language so well?

My name might have a thick accent that is difficult for a non-native Arabic speaker to pronounce, but I like to think that I have a relatively comprehensible pronunciation. I have been told more than once that my Arabic accent is whitewashed and I accept that. What I can't admit is the mere "coincidence" of this question being brought up in conversation. Jhumpa Lahiri wrote about "justifying the language that you speak," and the inherent problem here is that I have to explain myself. I shouldn't have to tell you that I grew up in between Mississauga and Dubai and that I was taught in British and American systems.

Now you might rebuttal here and argue that it’s a question out of curiosity, so there's no harm in being curious. Here is where I think you are wrong. Curiosity is not a valid enough reason for this question to have come up in a variety of circles on numerous occasions. One is harmless, twice is a coincidence, but three or more is a pattern.

My theory is that the reason this question is normalized is that there is an implicit belief that English is a challenging language to learn and as such only those living in predominantly English speaking countries, can indeed speak English with no questions. Whether you're from Hong Kong (a former British colony) or Mumbai (another former British colony) or even from Egypt (what a coincidence, a former British colony), you will not be able to speak English to the calibre that someone raised in North America or England can. This argument is not as far fetched as you may believe.

"How do you speak English so well?"

"I went to a British/American school."

"But you don't have an accent."

"Am I meant to?"

There is a stereotypical image of what an immigrant looks like, and if a person doesn't fit within those parameters, then people get uncomfortable. There is an inherent need to put labels on people; it makes us all more comfortable. If it fits our expectations, we don't have surprises, and there's no need to expand. I'm guilty of this too. I don't claim to know everything, and I certainly can't say that I don't make my assumptions about people, but the difference is, I try my best not to question people's answers.

"How do you speak English so well?"

"It's my first language."

"Oh ok."

That should be the extent of the conversation.

Not everyone has the intention to question my entire identity with this question, and it could be harmless curiosity. The issue I have with it is the implicit institutions that form the making of this question. This can be confusing, and I myself have trouble mapping out this train of thought but an example that clarifies the concept is the university setting.

Every student at UBC has applied in the same manner and written their personal statements. They took English proficiency tests if they needed them, and were placed in an English Immersion program if they needed to improve their language skills. So UBC itself has vetted these students and their ability to speak and write in English. Therefore, everyone in my classes should have the same fundamental skills to speak coherently and write at a post-secondary level.

So here is where I ask again, why does this question come up?

Education and the media project the former colonies as lesser than their colonizers, and that is a fact. Whether it's in terms of military capabilities, financial means or simply language and education, colonizers and imperial powers will always have the upper hand. More and more, people are complaining about the rise in international students, and they advocate for the principles of meritocracy, and yet, they refuse to believe that an immigrant may be just as qualified or more so.

Lahiri calls identity fluid. She consistently has to justify why she dedicated herself to a new language, one that wasn't English nor her mother tongue. English is the language of transformation and the base for many writers to become "international." If English really is the staple of universalization and how one can be approachable at an international level, why does this question come up?

So, when I am asked how I speak English so well, my education is put into question, and more so, I feel invalidated by those around me. Do I have an accent? Have I said something that indicates I am not from here? Maybe I am a FOB (Fresh Off the Boat). The years I've spent loving the English language and choosing to be an English major for, are put into question as well.

I have every right to speak the language, and I don't enjoy having to justify myself.