The Fundamentals of Racism

Have you ever been called out for just “giving your opinion”? Do you ever find yourself walking around and wishing everyone just spoke English? Have you ever been called a racist when you thought you were being “curious”?

If so - this might be a guide for you… Here are the 7 ways to defend yourself from being called a racist: 

1. Say you don’t see colour - because if you say you don’t believe in race as a concept, how can you be racist? 

2. Have at least one person you call a friend that is a person of colour (while not identifying them as a person of colour or acknowledging it) 

3. Say you donate to communities in need all the time (no need to prove it to anyone, but if you do donate - just make sure it doesn’t actually go to an organization that helps people but instead also just says they do) 

4. Believe in and defend “Reverse Racism” - call the people who you call you racist - racist. If everyone is racist, then are we all really racist? 

5. Saying you like cultural music genres, i.e. Reggae, Afro Beats, K-Pop, etc. 

6. Explain at every point that having a preference does not make you a racist - it just means you have to get along with some people better. What’s the harm in that? 

7. Probably the most common way to defend yourself is to preface all opinions by saying, “I’m not a racist, but…”.

If you haven’t caught on by now - this article isn’t about defending yourself from racism. It is about racism, obviously, and more importantly, how we (yes, we) are all responsible for letting racists do what they want all the time. This article is about personal accountability and a relatively new concept that most people don’t understand - anti-racism. 

Just so I don’t have any trolls telling me that racism isn’t really a problem in today’s world, here are just some of the headlines that have recently come up on the subject of racism : 

• Splash Mountain is Being Replaced (with Princess Tiana and her pal the alligator Louis)

• BC launched an anti-racism action plan in K-12 schools 

• Hate Crimes Leading to Murder 

• Canadian Judge accused of Racist Comments let go by Judiciary Board 

• Trump Racist (again) against Transportation Secretary 

• Black, Muslim, and Asian groups in the UK, the US, and Canada are all under some form of attack based on race - physically, economically, socially, religiously, medically, and generally. 

• Charlie Hebdo’s mockery of the earthquakes in Turkey and Syria. Generally, anything Charlie Hebdo puts out is, in my view - racist. 

• This one is my personal favourite: all the ways mainstream media has been racist in their coverage, and the secrets are slowly coming out. 

Now I’ve tried to keep it limited to at least Canada and the US for this purpose: Western countries tout and strut around global conferences condemning the actions of developing nations because of human rights violations and the like. Yet - these two countries are battling racism and upholding the racist infrastructure they created and continue to profit from these systems of discrimination and oppression.

Now if you don’t believe me - my go-to answer would typically be - it sucks to suck or educate yourself. Well - here’s where I and everyone who wants to help abolish racism and the impact of the sordid legacy need some responsibility. It is a lot easier to blame racists for being racist - which is true too, but we also need to recognize that most people are born into a system of beliefs and need some guidance to help them find the answers we wish were easier to find. 

See - the past three years have been incredibly enlightening for the subject of racism as a whole. From the viral and tragic event of George Floyd’s murder, many people took to educating themselves in the discourse of racism and how it materializes in our society today. While others, unsurprisingly, took to denying the existence of race and arguing that instead - systemic discrimination is a figment of the imagination of minorities, that instead - ideals such as meritocracy and “diversity quotas” are discriminatory to the masses. What basis do they have for these claims? Well, none really, but the reason it is so difficult to dismantle systemic racism is that it's ingrained in every portion of our society, whether you know it or not. 

The constitution that America hides behind and boasts its “democracy” around is the product of a group of caucasian slave lords who decided they didn’t want to be taxed at the rates they were by a monarchy across the ocean. While that is a VERY narrow explanation of the Independence of the United States of America, the facts remain unchanged. To deny or ignore the context of how the government was set up and, subsequently, how the laws that govern our society were formed and with what purpose is truly the reason our society cannot move forward.

Now here I will say this - I have never considered a career as a politician. Why? The reasons could be listed for hours, but the main reason - I don’t lie very well and don’t know how to hide my feelings very well either. This is not to say that I blurt out confidential information so much that I could never last in this field - its to say that if I can speak to something with 100% certainty and know that people are suffering as a result of something completely fixable and that there are options to help, I cannot just sit quietly. This is an inherent part of the challenges for those who wish to be advocates against racism - we are so tired of explaining that RACISM DOES, IN FACT, EXIST that we don’t take the time to hear the reasons WHY people think the way they do. 

I am a staunch anti-Zionist. Many people may immediately jump in and call me a racist and anti-Semitic (I qualify as Semitic by ethnicity, religion, and language). My urge to yell back at them because they haven’t read a book or understand human decency often wants to be unleashed and scream at the top of my lungs. However, I found that when you speak sense, logic, and most importantly, have the knowledge to respond with cold facts - these bigots can’t help but expose themselves for what they are. So instead I have found that I need to take a breath and get on their level - mentally, not in action, keep in mind. 

I try to approach these discussions with the mindset that if I go in and try to change a person’s mind - I will be unsuccessful. If my goal is to be heard and listen to what they have to say (with intense concentration and determination not to roll my eyes consistently), the facts speak for themselves. While not always possible - broaching a conversation with the intent to understand someone’s perspective versus flashing your opinions in rebuttal - gets people to take some onus and think for themselves. While I am still finding the best (not yelling) method to approach racism in my daily life, I found that I can sprinkle in my observations, and it encourages people to ask me questions. While I might not have all the answers, I can direct them to more sources of information they might find interesting on the topic. 

I try to remember when I feel demotivated or frustrated in this regard: I can’t do everything but can do this. I can take the initiative to work on myself and the ways that I may unintentionally allow racists to continue to be racist. I can’t change someone’s mind, but I can most definitely inform them of their misconceptions and actively try to inform them of the truth. 

So when I hear, “oh, it’s not that bad” or “that can’t be true,” - you want to know what I do? Spit facts (excuse my colloquial jargon - I don’t actually spit on people). For example, if someone says that racism doesn’t exist in the medical field, I politely tell them they are very wrong and point them to the facts. The facts are - Black women are disproportionately affected by misdiagnosis’ in North America, from heart attacks to untreated conditions, because of bias that these women don’t experience pain the way the rest of the world does or to the fact that Black women suffer maternal mortality at a much higher rate than any other racial group (if you are surprised by that fact then this is precisely the point I’m making). If you want some stats to verify - see the link for the CDC reports on the subject. 

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/maternal-mortality/2020/maternal-mortality-rates-2020.htm 

So when someone puts forth any of the “justifications” or “defences” for their racism, here is what anti-racism conveys in response: 

1. Don’t just “let it go.” If you (whether you are a POC or not) don’t speak out against racism, you are excusing it and allowing it to continue. 

2. If you find yourself wondering - how is “that” racist? Look it up. Educating yourself is by far the most underrated method of activism. When asked how or why - actually having the answer to some questions makes the most significant difference in our progress as a society. 

3. Encourage conversations about race and topics that generally are “uncomfortable.” If your office has one person of colour and you notice it, bringing it up to open a discussion versus demanding someone is hired solely based on racial identity can be more eye-opening and leads to more transparency overall. Hiring someone of the “colour” you need is also racist. 

4. Being Silent = Being Complicit. The biggest takeaway from this article should be this - anti-racism is about actively working towards the deconstruction of our VERY racist systems. 

While I am acutely aware that I am not an expert on the subjects of racism, anti-racism, society, history, and law, I know that I may never know it all. Yet, I am trying to do the work and I don’t think I can bear to stay silent for the selfish reason that I don’t want to be a part of the problem anymore.

See below for some resources about Anti-Racism: 

https://www.ibramxkendi.com/ - Ibram X. Kendi writes and speaks about anti-racism and how to be anti-racist. 

https://www.vox.com/2020/6/3/21278245/antiracist-racism-race-books-resources-antiracism - What it Means To Be Anti-Racist 

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-anti-racism-5071426 - What is Anti-Racism? This is a good starter guide to the principles and practices of anti-racism and why it is important. 

All in a Name- Mahsa Amini

In an attempt to do some self-care, a friend invited me to ceramic painting, and I jumped at the chance. Reminiscent of a classic childhood activity that inevitably ended in a horrendous mixture of colours forgotten in a blazing kiln - it was just what I needed to escape the anxiety I’d been feeling. 

As per usual, the manager verbally stumbled on my name, and I brushed it off, but he added that he thought it was beautiful. I agree - I do think my name is beautiful, and often - I felt like I didn’t live up to it. Taking us around the tiered surrounding shelves and giving us the lay of the land of naked clay, he ended by asking my favourite question, “Where are you from?” Before I could answer - the man responded to his own question, “Are you Persian? I could tell by your beautiful eyes.” And given the current climate - I felt a sting at a compliment that would ordinarily make me blush in red and squeak a forced “thank you” from my mouth. Now ordinarily, I would be uncomfortable with the compliment because I didn’t grow up with them a lot, making me want to crawl into a closet most days. This time was a bit different - I thought of one of the sources of my anxiety - the current protests and human rights violations in Iran. 

Those who may know me - may (or definitely) know about my complicated relationship with my Iranian background. I do not and have not supported the government for as long as I can remember. I also don’t speak Farsi as much or as well as I’d like - so part of me never felt like I would be accepted. I didn’t have a lot of Iranian friends growing up, so I fostered my Arab side a lot more. When I came to university, part of those feelings went away. I started feeling like I belonged as part of the Iranian community - because it's so diverse. The Persian identifying communities are all linked - our histories are shared. I felt a lot of internalized racism between my Persian side and my Arab side - pretty sure it's the source of my heartburn. I found myself making jokes with my halfie friends about the only things our Persian parents said to us were “pedar-sag” or “ay khoda”. It made me homesick for a part of me that I resented for so long because of a government that I didn’t support. I conflated my people with its current leaders - something I have come to unlearn over the years. 

So when this innocent man made a harmless compliment about my people and myself - I felt a sting in my heart. Thinking of Mahsa Amini and all the people who have been senselessly murdered because of a regime that none of its people genuinely support. A regime that claims to be Islamic but only uses Islam as an excuse to shield them from their own sins. I’ve said this before, but I mean it - I don’t claim to be an example of Muslims or the Islamic faith - but I respect it to my core, and I know in my own heart the love I have for my Creator (Allah SWT) and those are my beliefs. 

The death of anyone is sad - the loss of human life - is sad. When the Queen (RIP) passed, the world was halted. Yes - she was not only a political figure and a head of state, and she was beloved by millions. 

However, for the other billions that were affected by her regime and the actions of her government and influence caused turmoil and destruction of people and communities- its frustrating to see the world stop in mourning for a 96-year-old woman who died of natural causes; when we see in the same time frame, we see a 22-year-old young woman beaten to death because of an authoritarian police force acting on the orders of the result of the colonization of the Queen the world mourned. And it's absolute silence. 

Mahsa Amini - a beautiful young woman who was taken much before her time by men who feared her beauty and knew what it could do. People resort to violence because they fear their own insecurity - they feel small and want others to cower under them instead. 

The powers that be and the financial forces that dictate whether or not a people is worth speaking for don’t seem to care when it's not a white person in a position of peril. Even if you actually knew the history and knew that Aryan (of Aryanism) developed from ancient Persia. 

In an attempt to keep this concise and not turn into a never-ending rant on the foundations of imperialism and colonization (maybe you can read my dissertation if you want) - I’ll say this - If Western powers cared about human rights, why are their citizens demanding them? Why do citizens bear the cost of wars that were not their choice? The point is that politics don’t matter more than the people serving them. What is happening in Iran is not a mere protest - its decades of political unrest, censorship, terrorizing, brutality, and pain - so much pain - is coming to light. While the government squandered the people’s money to support foreign rebels and movements - the people of Iran suffered. Women have been silenced publicly and oppressed by men who call themselves Muslim, but in reality, the first thing you learn about Islam is that it is a religion of tolerance and peace. Salam - it's how we say hello in Arabic and Farsi- also means peace. All I felt like I have ever wanted was peace - to see what it would be like when people didn’t need things but only wanted. People shouldn’t have to demand what is rightfully owed to them, yet that is how our world works. 

So the people of Iran are demanding their government take action and condemn and extinguish a brutal force that does nothing for its community except fearmongering and violent torment. The Iranian government has cut off most access to the internet and cellular service to avoid information being leaked or spread about what is happening within their borders. 

Now there are not many organizations that I know and trust to donate to and support the Iranian people - but I know that if you ask an Iranian friend of yours - they have family who will be willing to help and connect you to what you’re looking for. Most people don’t know this, but the mathematician behind Algebra was Persian. A lot of brain drain happens with Iranians because working for the government is like working for a grandfather clock with an unpredictable ring. It's big, loud, demanding, and requires a lot of repairs - truly needs to be tossed out and replaced. 

I have to be careful with my words here because, as most Iranians will know - there are consequences for words spoken or written. So what I can and will say is this - listen to the people and hear what they are saying. They need change, and they need help. The Iranian people are not their government and deserve more than to be censored and cast out for wanting to live without being constantly monitored and reprimanded. The Muslim Empire prospered for so long because people lived in peace and harmony - regardless of their religious affiliation. So please - what not to do after this - is hate on Islam or Muslims who defend it. 

If you’re wondering what to do if not donate - listen, spread the word, and if you have ten seconds of your life to spare - add an extension to your browser that allows you to help provide a short proxy service for people being censored by the government- the program is called Snowflake and it's linked below. As with anything, be careful and do your research, but besides educating yourself, sending letters to your local government, and amplifying Iranian voices - the true heroes are the people risking their lives for the change we all pray for. So pray for them and their safety from the totalitarian cowards hiding behind an excuse that is crumbling before them. Be like my idol, Christiane Amanpour - and don’t let others bully you into rejecting your principles. 

For Iran. For Mahsa Amini. To the dozens of people who have been murdered but whose names we cannot confirm because of the government censorship that denies them the right to be heard and mourned. We pray for your peace in the afterlife and hope that this time - it is it. إِنَّا لِلَّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ 

Link to Snowflake:

 https://support.torproject.org/censorship/what-is-snowflake/ 

Its OK Not To Be OK - What Goes Unseen

If you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be? If you got anxious and felt your palms immediately start perspiring, then you might understand and relate to what I’m about to say. I hate this question the way I hate Ketchup (sorry, yes, I despise Ketchup)– that might sound like an exaggeration but it’s not. The question makes me stunned and confused, and it always leaves me wondering what the best way to answer is.

I don’t want to go into the full internal monologue that takes over my brain because we truly will be here for a very, very long time. A snippet, if you will, of the thoughts that possess me every time I am asked to describe myself.

“Ok, Smart? But is that too conceited? Ok, patient – but I get frustrated too? Kind. What type of person calls themselves kind though? Ok, so I settle on Meticulous. (But I know that this is also just another way to say bossy and particular.)”

In essence, I don’t get to win this battle with myself. I am never truly satisfied with what I say or how I look or how I act. Nothing is really good enough and that is what I have struggled with my entire life.

As you can see, I’m not entirely comfortable praising myself or characterizing myself as something I am not. This issue stems from a lot of things and I’m going to be a bit more vulnerable today than I am characteristically used to.

This Ramadan is different for me, I have had a lot of personal obstacles come up this past year and I have realized, with some help, that I struggle to process my emotions and my thoughts. I am my own worst critic and I criticize myself before I’ve even had the chance to make a mistake.

There are a lot of words in this world and yet, I’m struggling to explain myself. Describing myself means I am limiting myself. It means that I’m not capable of being more. I feel weak. I feel small. I feel – useless.

I never realized how bad this train of thought was until I finally had to say it all out loud. I experienced something traumatic recently that I’m not ready to divulge, but since then, I have struggled with feelings of safety and my sense of self.

So I have learned that in my entire twenty-three years of living, I have not properly processed my emotions or discussed my qualms with the people around me. I had support the entire time but I felt weak for using it.

__________________

As a child, I had no such problem. My family called me CNN – I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and I wanted to learn everything and tell everyone. This became an issue very quickly in a Middle Eastern household.

I would often share family secrets or repeat phrases I shouldn’t have. So after the umpteenth time, I learned it was best not to talk sometimes, especially if it could be seen as taboo or was private.

I carried this notion and this practice with me every day.

________________

So jumping to today, I am sitting in my apartment, recovering from a dental surgery that turned me into a green square. (Other names were Spongebob, She-Hulk, Steve from Minecraft, and of course, Chipmunk) I have been forced to sit and do nothing except reflect, ponder, and of course, criticize.

I found myself sitting in pain and so nauseous I couldn’t stand, and I was sobbing because I couldn’t cook myself a meal. I felt broken and weak and small. Again.

I have been feeling this way for some time and it’s been difficult to express myself.

As you can see, my sense of self has been threatened for a long time and this stems from my childhood to who I am today. I was bullied for being overweight as a child. I have experienced trauma as a teenager and as a young woman. My family has experienced some hardships these past few years. I have become a caretaker to a teenager.

And in these 23 years, I did it in silence. Not because my family or friends weren’t supportive, but because I felt like a burden to them. They had enough going on in their lives without me adding to their struggles. Even now, typing this out, I am so scared that sharing my experience with all of you, will change how I am seen.

What inspired me to write this piece was a TikTok by @18hens, a lawyer struggling with depression, showing what her life is like. That she isn’t always put together, she struggled with her appearance and self-care, and she had to make it work. She went to work with a messy bun and a T-shirt because that’s all she could muster.

I have never related to something more. I felt relieved. I felt like I took a breath for the first time in a really long time.

I wasn’t alone in this feeling and I’m sure that there are people out there that need that relief too.

It made me think of the moment I quit my job for these same very reasons, and someone said “I had no idea. You seemed completely fine, you were doing so well.”

That’s the reality of an internal struggle – no one sees you struggle but yet, you feel like the world is watching you fail every day.

Life is hard. The world is terrible. People suck. But we don’t get to choose what happens to us all the time. I don’t have control over how people see me and I certainly can’t control what people do or say.

What I can control, however, is myself. I can control it with lots of practice and LOTS of crying. I can control how I see myself and the world around me. I can relearn how to love myself the way I did as a child.

Gifted Child Burnout. High Functioning Depression. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. High Functioning Anxiety. Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome.

Those are all three-word phrases that describe me in ways that no one can see. It’s the same way that social media only really shows the good parts of people’s lives and we all feel bad for not looking our best and feeling happy all the time.

A lot has happened this past year, yes, but hopefully, a lot more is going to happen too.

I pray that the future ahead is filled with joy, laughter, and bliss. I know that there will be rough patches and I will constantly be battling with myself – I will witness tragedy and experience pain. Pandora’s box let out all the evil and ugly but it also let out one other thing, hope.

So I hope that this helps someone else feel like they’re not alone. I hope that we can all be kinder to each other and ourselves.

It’s ok not to be ok sometimes. If you need a reminder, I’m here to remind you.

With love,

Alia